This morning we received a call from a telemarketer. I didn’t hear
anything the telemarketer said, only Dan, (my roomate’s side).
Dan: Hello? Hello? No she’s not here right now. No, she’s not
gonna be here for awhile. Look is this… is this one of
those telemarketing things? No I’ve never heard of your company but at
least it isn’t Sprint or AT&T again. No, I… sure tell me
your whole thing, you sound like you really want to.
(a minute or so passes)
Dan continues: Um. Hey what’s your number? No not your
supervisor’s number. Your number! Why? I want to call you at home. Yeah,
you can tell your supervisor I never want to be contacted by your company
again. No I told you that I want your number. C’mon don’t turn
all machine on me man. Give me your number!
Wait, no don’t go into machine mode man. Don’t become part of the borg
collective! Give me your number!
C’mon I’ll call you and sell you some of my art. It’s great art man.
People come from all over the world to see my art. Give me your number,
it’s really great art!
I’ll cut you a deal!
I’ll… I’ll post your number on the net. C’mon! You’ll be
the most popular guy on earth. Everyone in the world will want to call
Joe! Joe! Get me a pen!
O.k. what’s your number. No don’t go into machine mode again. Don’t kiss
the Man’s ass again. Don’t… Look this is the
first of your twelve steps to recovery! Tell me your phone number. O.k.
it’s 1. C’mon what’s the rest of it? O.k. 888… 5
Joe: He’s bullshitting you.
Dan: C’mon give me your real number. O.k. 1 - 888 - 573.
No. You’re doing it again. You’re being a machine. Don’t you want to
make a difference. Get in touch with your power animal!
You are the hawk.
You are the hawk! No don’t give me your supervisor. You’re about
to embark on a great journey. C’mon be human with me.
O.k. For real this time it’s 1 - 888…